Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mini-Burger Battleground States

Over 140 years since reconstruction there is a new battle raging betwixt the states. This one is regarding their low grade fast food burger of choice. Yankee and Rebel pride clash as communities are turned once again into battlefields. Each sides fiercely loyal to their own brand of budget dining. The Northern and Southern franchise growth meets in Tennessee and Kentucky for a suburban showdown.
Most readers are familiar with White Castle, a tiny burger that is heavy on the onions and served suspiciously moist. Crystals burgers are the exact same thing, but with a squirt of mustard. When comparing the basics there isn't a whole lot to differentiate one from the next.
The folks at Crystals enter a league of their own when one takes into account the rest of their menu. While White Castle is widely considered to be 'only after drinking' gross, Crystals is 'never a good idea, ever' gross. The minds at the Crystals corporate kitchen push the envelope on what I'll order even in the most dire of circumstances.
The cheese pup is a small hot dog rendered worthless by a layer of melted cheddar cheese. Below is a breakfast promotional menu. Note the egg product in a Styrofoam cup. There is no amount of carb-savings that make it alright to start your day with the value-bowl breakfasts. They must be appealing to a demographic that needs a value bowl after smoking one.

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