Thursday, June 11, 2009

Living the Dream


From the rain soaked skies of Schaumburg, IL to Phoenix's oppressive heat this has been just one banner day.  But first a shout out to my man Calvin at All-Star cab for getting everything off to a great start.  See, the folks at All-Star accept all major credit cards.  Calvin can't accept cards of any kind until his girlfriend gets paid on the 19th, then he can get shit fixed.  So at 11:15 this morning Calvin and I were driving the streets of Elk Grove Village looking for a Chase ATM.

Now if you were looking for a Chase and were on the corner of Higgins and N. Arlington Heights Road you'd be in luck.  But I'm down on my luck and from the looks of Calvin he's no stranger to hard times.  As the aging Crown Victoria pulls up to the ATM I step out only to hear a ear splitting burst of sirens and beeping.  Apparently the good people at Brinks don't let civilians near the ATMs during resupplying.  Never mind the fact it was 3 lanes over, those Brinks guys aren't gonna chance anything.  So it was back to circling the area for an ATM, because if Calvin's boss knew that he still hasn't fixed the card reader... he'd be out of the fleet.
It wasn't long before I switched to American Airlines version of the 1995 Ford Crown Victoria, the McDonnell Douglas MD-80.  This version looked to be from the first Bush's administration and smelled like blue toilet water and kerosene.  I'd expect nothing less from a product that went by the initials MD.
With such a fine craft and a major corporation footing the bill one would suspect first class accommodations.  Unfortunately I was wedged in the airline version of steerage.  To my immediate left was a disagreeable frenchman.
To my right, a Pratt & Whitney JT8D thundering less than two feet from my head.  
After the day I've had, I'm off to bed.  In the Fairfield Inn situated between an Interstate and 4 strip clubs, in a room with a legitimate ant problem. 

Top Notch


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