Sunday, September 7, 2008


Nestled between Nevada and Colorado an is oddity of  Mormon influenced culture; Utah the weakest state of the West.  It brings very little to the table as a state being seriously outclassed by its neighbors.  The cities are chock full of high-end ski boats on trailers in driveways while its largest lake is a brine filled wasteland.  Bars are few and far between, they're technically illegal but fly under the radar because they're private social clubs.  These social clubs are different than actual bars in two very big ways.  First, the cover charge is hefty because it actually a temporary membership.  The other key difference is people tend to get married early in Mormon culture, so there are limited prospects as far as finding single women.  Its like arriving to a party two years too late.  
Dining in the Salt Lake area is a culinary delight, the bacon cheeseburger has been replaced with the pastrami cheeseburger, pretty gross but I had to give it a try.  Those inventive people of happy valley also decided that while fries are unhealthy they could do one step worse and supplied the region with fry sauce.  Fry sauce is a concoction of ketchup and mayonnaise blended together.  While all fry sauce is gross be sure to get fresh fry sauce, premixed sauce is packaged in small containers, usually kept in some back store room in the sun.
With all these setbacks stacked against me, I was shocked that two months in Utah was a legitimately good time.  This is partly because its a place I would have not otherwise visited. It can be assumed that Vegas, New York City, Disney World and The Grand Canyon can be seen by John Q. Tourist.  Utah was a experience because it was seeing day to day life in areas not covered by anybodies summer vacation. 

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